desolate lake

a lament.

---

Late one night in October, after a pleasant day of adventures around Rifle Gap State Park and Rifle Falls State Park in Colorado, I felt unease in my soul. As I was getting ready to fall asleep, the tears came on strong. I had no words to describe where this anguish was coming from. After more than an hour of silently trying to calm myself and go to sleep, I jolted up in bed.

Anger again stirred in me, but not the festering, bitter kind of anger, instead it was the kind of anger you feel from disappointment and loss. From knowing that the hurt you feel cannot be justified and explained away, only felt—deeply.

In the quiet of the camper, I began to cry out to God. At first it was just whispered “Why God?” and “Help.” As I cried these words to Him, the images from our day of exploring came back to mind and I promptly poured my lament out to God, using the imagery around me. The contrast of a nearly empty reservoir with a useless dam holding nothing back compared to the thundering waterfalls and streams just a few miles down the road was slightly comical.

Yet, I felt a kinship with that dried up patch of earth. So I poured it out, all the feelings I couldn’t quite explain myself, but this empty lake could speak for me. It was one of the most cathartic experiences I’ve ever had.

If you can’t find the words to express your sorrow, allow these words to cry out to God for you and hope for the day when the heavens open up and you are refilled.